On a recent vacation trip to Crater Lake National Park, my husband and I noticed a number of signs warning people to keep a close eye on their children or pets due to the dangerous cliffs. While I agreed that caution was in order, a part of me thought, “Are you kidding? We have to warn people to stay away from the edge. Any conscious observer can easily see that falling hundreds of feet to the rocks below will certainly result in serious injury, and more likely death.” Even so, while we were there I routinely observed people climbing over barriers to perch on a precipice, conceivably to obtain the perfect Christmas card photo.

Read more: It Goes Without Saying ... Or Maybe it Doesn't

“We need more pregnant teens.”

I almost laughed when I heard her say it.

She was a professional associated with an agency offering services to families in our small county in northern Illinois. To emphasize her point, she repeated herself and added, “We could have a worker here more than one day a week if you had more pregnant teens. They must be here somewhere. How can we find them?”

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“Midnight Chicken” is a game couples learn to play shortly after the birth of their first child. Here’s how it goes: You hear the baby crying in an adjoining room. You’re awake, but you pretend to be asleep. You focus on lying very still and breathing as if you were dead to the world. You give every indication of being totally unconscious and incapable of being awakened despite the increasing volume. If all goes well, you’ll know you’ve won when your partner throws back the bed covers and stumbles off to take care of the distressed child.

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Some time ago I visited with a bride-to-be and her mother at a bridal show, where prospective brides and their entourage have the opportunity to become familiar with many of the accoutrements of today’s $15,000-$20,000 wedding. During our conversation about the importance of preparing not just for the wedding day, but also for the marriage, the mother assured me that her marriage was just fine, but she thought it would be a good idea for her daughter and future son-in-law to attend one of our workshops. Without a moment’s hesitation the daughter looked at the mother and said, “Why don’t you and dad come with us? I think it would be fun.”

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When things are not going well in a relationship, it can feel like you and your spouse are always squabbling with each other, but in reality it’s rarely that bad. In fact, it is far more likely that you are arguing with each other only a small percentage of the time, but the residue from these occasions dampens your spirits, clouds your outlook, and causes you to focus only on the less than pleasant interactions.

Read more: We Fight All the Time!